“Clash of the Titans” is a dramatic movie. You know how I know
this? Everyone speaks in gruffly hushed voices and barely audible
whispers, or they just yell at the top of their lungs. There’s no
happy medium, no regular conversations. Just dramatic whisperings
that put the overly dramatic whisperings of “Lord of the Rings:
Return of the King” to shame.
The people of ancient Greece have become disenchanted with their
gods. Men have grown prideful and forgotten that Zeus (Liam Neeson)
gave them life in the first place. In an act of defiance, men
topple a large statue of Zeus – they have declared war on the gods.
Immediately afterwards, the soldiers responsible are attacked by
winged beasts that start throwing them into the sea. You’d think
these types of encounters with the power of the gods would dissuade
the humans from doing anything else so reckless, but they’re a
stubborn bunch.
Saved as a child, Perseus (Sam Worthington) is a demigod – half
man, half god – and Zeus’ son. Perseus is found at sea by a
fisherman who adopts him and raises him as his own. After Perseus’
adopted family is killed by the god of the Underworld, Hades (Ralph
Fiennes), Perseus swears revenge. Being half god, he may just have
a chance. Zeus agrees to let Hades loose on the Earth to teach the
humans a lesson.
Hades appears and disappears in a giant cloud of billowing black
smoke. Being leader of the Underworld plays hell – pun intended –
with your complexion. When in human-like form Hades shuffles
around, hissing his words like a snake and generally carrying
around that overall sour demeanor we’ve come to expect from the
Prince of Darkness. The rest of the gods are given bright, shining
armor and sit atop Olympus growing stronger from the prayers of the
people (we know this because the movie sees fit to repeat this fact
over and over again in case we missed it the first time).
Perseus, in a matter of minutes and an explanation simply of
having a god inside him, goes from pitiful fisherman to world’s
most powerful warrior. No montage needed; there’s no time, even for
montages. “Clash of the Titans” has one goal and one goal only: to
show as many action scenes in its runtime as it possibly can. We’re
thrust from battles with undead kings to battles with giant
scorpions to battles with Medusa to battles with the Kracken, all
the while meeting new characters and never coming to know any of
them.
Films like “Clash of the Titans” face the unfortunate reality
that they’re going to be compared, at one point or another, to the
“Lord of the Rings” trilogy. But there’s one major difference that
separates films like “Clash of the Titans” from “Lord of the Rings”
– Peter Jackson knew that in “Lord of the Rings,” for every
awe-inspiring action scene he must have numerous character-building
scenes leading up to it. What point is there for an action scene
when it contains characters you don’t care about? Perseus runs from
one battle to the next without us ever getting to know him, let
alone his band of rag-tag fighters. There’s no one to care about
here, which makes the action scenes lackluster no matter how
spectacular they were intended to be.
Regarding the 3D of the film, it’s a perfect example of how 3D
can completely ruin the look and feel of a movie. From what feels
like an afterthought, the 3D accompanying “Clash of the Titans” is
some of the worst on the market. Like looking through a ViewMaster,
this 3D kills whatever spectacular imagery might be lurking
somewhere in this movie.
In the end, “Clash of the Titans” fails miserably trying to make
us care about anyone or anything that’s happening on screen with
the 3D adding insult to injury. Far too many scenes are
jaw-droppingly corny, cringe-worthy or both. What could have been a
fun and exciting fanciful adventure comparable to “Lord of the
Rings” becomes nothing more than “Transformers 2″ of the ancient
world.
