I’m sorry; I know I’m supposed to think this movie is AWESOME and foam at the mouth over Michael Fassbender’s portrayal of the android “David,” and go on about the layers of hidden meaning in the script and the connections to the classic “Alien.”
But it’s a mess. An enjoyable mess for the most part, but messy nonetheless. There’s probably something for everyone in there, but that may be part of the problem. What the heck IS it, anyway? I came up with a Sci-Fi Horror/Thrillerdrama. Hmm.
But let’s talk about the good stuff, and yes Fassbender is a part of that, as are all of the performances in this flick, especially Noomi Rapace as Elizabeth Shaw. In fact, all of the mains are notable, including Charlize Theron and Idris Elba. Why Guy Pearce is made to look like an old Guy I’m not sure; perhaps so they can say Guy Pearce is in my movie! Perhaps so he can be a young guy in a short, pre-movie online featurette thingy that was not even shown in the movie? Why not just get a really old guy to play a really old guy rather than get a young guy and make him look fake-old? Dunno. The other folks are pretty much there to give the main characters someone to talk to, and to get killed in nasty ways when they’re in the wrong place and the wrong time, or when they do something insanely stupid and deserve their deadly Darwin Award.
The visuals are truly awe-inspiring. If you think you might see this, then do so in the theater; do not wait for home video! Ridley Scott changed the landscape of cinematography with “Alien” back in 1979, and he may have done it again in 2012 with “Prometheus.”
If you’re a big fan of sci-fi in general, there are plenty of echoes of other sci-fi movies for you, and not just from the “Alien” series, although obviously there are a lot of those. The Prometheus ship itself is reminiscent of Serenity from “Firefly,” and its onboard computer is eerily similar to HAL2000 from “2001: A Space Odyssey.” The Engineer aliens use musical tones to help operate their ship as in “Close Encounters Of The Third Kind,” and the very idea that aliens may have seeded us here on earth is at least as old as Star Trek itself.
It’s also a decent creature feature. You won’t see Xenomorphs galore, but what you do see is very well-done, very convincing, and very DISTURBING. This is one flick that once it gets going will make you writhe in your seat. Some of the scenes are downright BRUTAL.
Sounds good, right? So why the long face, Rich?
It all comes off like a desperate attempt to cash in on “Alien” with a prequel series. Some of the connections are a massive stretch, and seem silly next to their otherwise grandiose surroundings. “Alien” was more of a thriller set in outer space than anything else. It kept the “Space Odyssey” navel-gazing to a minimum to be more palatable, and still delivered some of the necessary blue-collar jolts. “Aliens” went the full Die Hard, basically becoming an action piece set in space. The next two installments are widely considered a misfire and a mistake, respectively. But everything is thrown into “Prometheus.” It has some of the heft that “Odyssey” had, the pacing (in the first hour) of the original “Alien” and then the whiz-bang of “Aliens” in the second hour. But in trying to cater to everyone, it also trips over some truly baffling storytelling… followed-up with a bit of exposition mid-movie to explain it all to you over a cheesy soundtrack. And as that second hour kicks into gear, all character development goes out the window, replaced by people who don’t respond the way people would at all, probably because that would slow down the action. Theron’s “Meredith Vickers” makes a truly awful command decision, and… it has virtually no impact on the relationships between the crew. Not once does Elba’s “Captain Janek” turn to her later and say “Hey, That was messed up.” Fassbender’s “David” is partially responsible for getting the love-interest of Noomi’s Shaw killed, and he then turns Shaw herself into a lab rat… and Shaw doesn’t blow his head off the first chance she gets? One minute she’s the epitome of a Strong Woman (like Ripley before here… after her?), and the next she doesn’t kick the living jellybeans out of the android that just put her through hell, or even tell anyone about it? Then she runs along, hunching over in pain every now and again due to her secret injuries, and no one around her even asks her what’s wrong? Then again, what the heck is with David? Yes, in the Alien series the android has always been the subject of mistrust; does he work with us or for The Company? Does his respect and awe for the evolutionary specimen the Xenomorphs present him with dwarf his loyalty and compassion for the human race? Okay, I get it. But David also takes time to be sadistic and cruel; telling Shaw information she SO doesn’t need to know just to mess with her head (even when it might put his schemes in jeopardy). Or he pauses mid-task to say something truly caustic to her. Is he emulating his human creators too closely, or was he just programmed to be a dick?
Again, in trying to be all things to all audiences, “Prometheus” ends up being a mess. It’s not heady enough to be “2001”, and not quickly-paced enough to be “Aliens.” They couldn’t trust their audience enough to leave anything up to them, so they drop in over-obvious speeches to explain to you what the heck is going on. There’s some genuinely wrenching special-effect scenes, but since they don’t want to be just a gross-out film, they bookend them with wistful chats about god and faith, or ham-fisted dialogue about David not having a soul. When we finally learn that The Engineers first seeded our planet with sacrificial DNA, only to decide they made a mistake and then want to eradicate us, it comes off as a bit underwhelming. This is the plot? It feels like more of an excuse to put some Alien guts on display. Aren’t these Engineers supposed to be smart? If so, why make a rather complicated and possibly self-defeating plan to wipe humans out by… creating some alien-goo out of their own DNA again, only this time to destroy their own creations, load thousands of tubes of the goo onto a ship and send it to earth to infect us all and wipe us out? Oh; and this stuff can infect other humans through intercourse to create what we Alien-afficionados call a “facehugger” (or at least an early version of it), which after implanting in a host eventually creates a Xenomorph? So were they drunk or high when they came up with this? It’s all a bit much. Whatever happened to just blowing stuff up? Surely the Engineers can engineer a big ol’ bomb and just nuke earth from orbit rather than risk their own necks to create a biobug to infect us all, possibly turning us into an even greater threat. That was probably deemed not pretentious enough, so let’s throw in some stuff about God and the origin of mankind… ugh. Again, it seems like all of a stretch to connect it to current Alien canon. Sorry. I know I’m supposed to love it, but this is an average horror movie, with above average effects and acting.
Overall Score for “Prometheus” from Rich Bonaduce: C+
“Prometheus” is rated R for sci-fi violence including some intense images, and brief language.
124 Minutes
Written by: Jon Spaihts, Damon Lindelof
