I’ll be honest – walking out of Sex Tape, I didn’t think that it was half bad. Despite its dumb plot and pointless overuse of vulgarity (and not for comedic sake), it made me laugh plenty. But the more that I let it sink in, the more I realize that it’s a complete piece of garbage. My initial reaction was “it’s worth watching once for laughs and completely forgetting about afterward,” but I can’t say that anymore. I now feel shame – not for watching and laughing at the movie, but for ever thinking that it’s worth watching once. I now see it for what it is: a complete waste of time and money. It’s so all-around poor that I truly can’t recommend watching it even once.
Jason Segel and Cameron Diaz star as a couple whose marriage has list its sexual spark. To reinvigorate that long-lost passion, they decide to get drunk and film their own three-hour sex tape that uploads to a bunch of their used iPads that they’ve randomly given away to family members, friends, mailmen and Diaz’s potential new boss (Rob Lowe). Upon discovering that this has happened, they head off on a night-long mission to recover iPads. Yes, the movie is a huge commercial for Apple products.
The first retrieved iPad only paves way for two additional characters to join them in their hijinks. Rob Corddry and Ellie Kemper play their best friends. Their joining Segel and Diaz feels like it was forced into the movie partway through the shoot when it was realized that Segel and Diaz have zero on-screen chemistry. Sadly, while Corddry and Kemper are great additions, they aren’t used enough. Prior to and after their portion of the movie, Sex Tape is stagnant.
The first 25 minutes of Sex Tape are wasted in long character set-ups. There’s a void of laughs in that time frame. After that, we get the long lead-in to them making the tape. Once the making of the tape is teased, we cut to the next morning. Like the earlier pacing, it takes way too long for them to discover that their tape has made its way to their old iPads. The second third of the movie is dedicated to them finding one of the unspecified quantity of iPads – the one given to Diaz’s potential boss. By the way, who gives an iPad to a potential employer that is actually the CEO of a leading toy-making company? Wouldn’t that seem like bribery for getting the job? And do you really think that a CEO needs a used iPad? Why would he have even taken it? Who knows. But the stuff that goes on in Lowe’s home is unusual. One of the lead characters does a line of cocaine while the other goes all “Something About Mary” on Lowe’s pet dog. The final third derails into a heisting family affair. The writers simply didn’t know how to close the story. And, just like The Hangover, prior to the credits rolling, we finally see bits of the sex tape that reveal what exactly they did that night. Also like The Hangover, it’s overcompensating by showing the video. You can’t go all-in after the fact and expect us to deem the whole package a win.
Don’t waste your time with Sex Tape. I enjoy a good R-rated comedy, but Sex Tape isn’t one. If you haven’t seen 22 Jump Street, go see it instead.
(Photo Credit: Sony)
